thesanguinevixen:

lordessalicia:

I wish I could have all of you following me on Tumblr over for a slumber party.

We’d take turns playing the Citadel DLC.

Maybe play some Mass Effect multiplayer.

Of course, there would be talk about boys…and girls…and turians…and quarians…and drell…and deep, philosophical discussions on the…

I read that as “Fuck you into your sleeping bags”…and I’m okay with that…

I am a very accommodating hostess, so I mean, hey, if that’s what it takes to get my guests into their sleeping bags…

Just when I thought I couldn’t be more into this asshole, he goes and puts on some goddamn glasses.
You can’t do that to me, man.
That’s just not even fair.
I can’t handle this amount of attractive and still be okay. 
I just can’t.

Just when I thought I couldn’t be more into this asshole, he goes and puts on some goddamn glasses.

You can’t do that to me, man.

That’s just not even fair.

I can’t handle this amount of attractive and still be okay. 

I just can’t.

Anonymous asked
Has Garrus ever thought about adopting a turian child to sort of... Even up the crazy in the shepard-vakarian household?

I’m pretty sure the Palaven child adoption agency would laugh the butt-plates right off their ass-meat at the mere suggestion.

Unfortunately for Gary Buttkarian, there is no cure for the insanity in his household.

image

about the blogger

BASICS:

name: Alicia.
birthday: December 25th. (Yes, Christmas Day. I’ll be 25 this year.)
zodiac: Capricorn. (Mermaid goat, yay!)
single or taken: Taken. (As if I were abducted, hah. Anyway, been with the boyfriend for over 5 years now.)
height: 5’7”. (About 170 cm.)
eye color: Grey.
middle name: Ann. (It’s tradition in my family to pass down the mother’s middle name to the eldest daughter. I don’t know why.)
favorite color: Black, white, dark/cool colors. (Depends on the situation.)
lucky number: 2. (I don’t know if it’s lucky, but I’ve always liked it.)

SPECIFICS/DETAILS:

hogwarts house: Slytherin. (I even have a full Slytherin uniform in my closet.)
favorite fictional character: No idea. (Maybe Garrus or Alistair.)
favorite television show: 30 Rock. (Liz Lemon is my hero.)
favorite season: Fall.
describe yourself in a few words: Female human.
future children’s names: I don’t want children. 
meaning of your name: "Of noble birth."
ultimate otp: Danger Shepard and an unrestricted Extranet connection. (I’m not sure which pairing I like best, honestly. Possibly Alistair and Cousland.)
what do you plan to/do for a living: I test voice recognition software for Samsung. (Previously a game designer. Maybe I’ll go back to game development some day.)
starbucks order: Hot chocolate. (I’m a butt who doesn’t drink coffee.)

introvert or extrovert 
dawn or dusk
righty or lefty
coffee or  tea
rain or shine
reading or writing

(Source: hearmerhllor)

Not even lying - I scrolled down, and saw the bottom half of this pic before I saw who posted it, thinking “Oh, that almost looks like a Lordess Alicia post. Except for the caption in it.” — but now it makes sense. Hahaha

thepaganjew asked
Septimus Oraka, Sha'ira, The elcor diplomat

I’d get drunk with the elcor diplomat because I want to get him so drunk that he FINALLY REVEALS XELTAN’S SECRET!

If that fails, I’d then bang Sha’ira and get her to FINALLY TELL ME XELTAN’S SECRET!

Then, I’d marry Septimus Oraka because of my…thing…for older turian gentlemen. Him especially. I’d lovingly call him my “old bastard” and be his young, alien trophy wife that he’d brag about to all his old military buddies. With good reason. We’d have sex a lot. Very good sex.

Anonymous asked
In my headcannon, the song "I'm Blue" is about a turian who moved to Thessia. And realised the mistake of passing up Shepard's fine, fine ass.

Oh, Anon, that is by far the saddest story ever told.

Well, maybe except for the story where all of galactic civilization was almost completely wiped out by genocidal synthetics.

They’re probably tied for saddest.

Anonymous asked
Danger! I need help with my confidence! Help me become a strong and confident person like you!

Step 1. Think about some booty. 

Step 2. Believe in that booty. 

Step 3. Get that booty. 

(The-optional-but-occasionally-necessary-Step 4. Run like hell because C-Sec’s already got three strikes on you.)

Even if your problem is in no way related to booty, it never hurts to have some good booty on your side. You never know, they might turn out to also be excellent snipers or expert assassins or something that can make your problems go away. 

I wish I could have all of you following me on Tumblr over for a slumber party.

We’d take turns playing the Citadel DLC.

Maybe play some Mass Effect multiplayer.

Of course, there would be talk about boys…and girls…and turians…and quarians…and drell…and deep, philosophical discussions on the social companionship learning capabilities of synthetic life…or put simply, “Could you bang a geth?” (naturally to be followed up by “Would you bang a geth…prime?”).

Then I’d read smutty fan fiction to all of you for your bedtime story and tuck you into your sleeping bags. 

Sweet dreams, you perfectly delightful bastards. 

Yeeeeeees. Damn he’s fine. And he wanted to abduct you from a hospital. My kind of man right there.

Ahaha, no kidding. It’s like he’s two different people sometimes.

He’s Ebihara the disciplined, hardworking, straight-laced manager by day.

Then, by night, he becomes Kippei the passionate, horny, slightly insane loner.